What Women Can Do to Bust the Myth that We Don’t Support Each Other
June 28, 2016

There’s a common stereotype that women don’t support other women, but it’s just not true. In reality, women do help each other, and we go further faster when we do. (But don’t just take my word for it. Read “The Myth of Catty Women” and “Why Women (Sometimes) Don't Help Other Women.”)
Today LeanIn.Org launched “Together Women Can,” a campaign celebrating the power of women supporting each other. So many amazing women have lent their voice to this campaign – including Kerry Washington, Emma Watson, Megyn Kelly, Serena Williams, Lena Dunham, and our own Sheryl Sandberg – because they’ve benefited first-hand from the support of other women and know what a difference it makes.
In reality, women do help each other, and we go further faster when we do.
A huge number of women are already doing this, and all women can and should. Here are four things you can do today – and every day – to support the women you work with (and scroll down to the bottom of this post for all of our tips for supporting women and girls):
(1) Introduce women like it matters – because it does. People tend to overestimate men’s accomplishments and underestimate women’s. As a result, women need to work harder to get noticed and prove we’re capable. One way to combat this is to highlight women’s credentials and accomplishments when you introduce them. Instead of defaulting to “Katie works in marketing,” opt for an intro with gravitas like, “Katie was in charge of our biggest public awareness campaign of the year, and we blew past our goals” (I hope you’re reading this, Katie Miserany.) A good introduction can go a long way toward elevating a woman’s status.
(2) Use your proverbial pom-poms. Sadly, women are more prone to intense self-doubt than men, and it is not because we’re missing some elusive confidence gene.Women face more challenges in the workplace and a steeper path to leadership.Although there’s no quick fix for wavering confidence, your words of encouragement can go a long way. Don’t underestimate the benefits of a telling a female team-member she writes beautifully (Nola Barackman, I’m talking to you) or makes your job easier because she’s so good at hers (Hannah Kay Herdlinger).
Although there’s no quick fix for wavering confidence, your words of encouragement can go a long way.
(3) Don’t let women undermine themselves. It starts when we’re young. Girls often use verbal crutches like beginning a statement with a disclaimer (“I’m not sure this is a good idea but...”) or using upspeak so statements sound like questions. A surprising number of women still fall into these traps, and too often women sit at the edges of the room in meetings, away from high-status seats. Speak confidently, and encourage other women to do the same—it’s not just what we say that matters; it’s how we say it, too. And when you see a woman heading for the edge of the room, offer her the seat next to yours (you, of course, will be sitting front-and-center).
(4) Celebrate women’s accomplishments, and make sure the boss hears. Women tend to get less credit for our achievements and face pushback when we toot our own horns. But we can celebrate each other’s accomplishments loudly and proudly. Even better, we can form a posse at work and look for opportunities to promote each other’s successes. It’s not just a nice thing to do; it’s a smart thing to do. When you speak up for other women, your status often goes up, too. (Note to Sheryl: the Lean In partnerships and web teams are killing it!)
Women can celebrate each other’s accomplishments loudly and proudly.
If you need a little extra inspiration, watch Kerry, Emma, Megyn, Serena, and the other women who’ve teamed up with us thank the women who’ve inspired and helped them. (Hat tip to the incredibly talented ladies at AOL’s MAKERS for exec producing the video).
But I suspect you need to look no further than the amazing women in your own life. I only need to look to Sheryl, Ashley Finch, and the rest of the women on the Lean In team to see what’s possible when women encourage you, lift you up, and push you to be your best self. Women don’t have to support other women, but so many of us choose to because we know we’re better together.
This article first appeared here




Be part of the solution:
September 22, 2019
Image: Young and old coming together to discuss suicide prevention and the challenges often presented by the daily struggle of life
This last week has been an incredible validation of the approach that Babana Aboriginal is taking when it comes to the prevention of suic...
September 11, 2019
Why do some of our elders turn to talk back radio? The rise of social isolation
I was yarning with a group of elders recently and we chatting about struggling being retired and the feeling of social isolation. As we waded our way through the conversation it dawned on me...
August 29, 2019
Don’t forget our elders can suffer in silence too: suicide prevention
Many people think that mental health and suicide are not topics that impact our elders but they could not be more wrong. The data tells us there continues to be an emerging trend when it comes to peop...
August 29, 2019
If we are to prevent suicide amongst our mob its going to be the simple things that do it.
For the last decade I have been working on the assumption that other people working at other organisations will always have our backs when it comes to the biggest challenges that...
August 23, 2019
Wherever you look these days, not matter the developed country, whole population groups and peoples struggle with the daily grind of life. From children in state care to mental health, from affordable housing to the primary health system and from education to employmen...
August 11, 2019
Image: Babana Aboriginal Men's Group meet on the last Friday every month in Glebe / yarning circle
Let’s face it; we as men find it difficult to have conversations with each other especially as we age. In doing so we keep not only our challenges and emotions to ourselv...
August 11, 2019
Why language and self-determination matters on this International Day of Indigenous Peoples
When we think of our indigenous peoples, we normally think of them in two ways. The first is through culture and the amazing amount of history and connection to the land they hav...
July 15, 2019
For the last few years I have been fortunate to have been involved in the aged care sector and have seen both the lows and highs. Today we live in a world where most of us are living longer thank to more awareness around healthy living, the advancement of better medica...
You can’t go past a news paper, radio show or television news story these days without being flooded by all things Bitcoin or Crypto Currency. Some say it’s the new world of money while others suggest its all just a passing fad. Whatever your position or preference of...
May 26, 2019
The New Zealand Maori Council has called on the Government to step in and ensure the recommendations made by the Children’s Commissioner in respect of youth detention facilities be implemented without delay. The Report released to the previous Government carried a seri...
Older Posts >